The New York minute really is a country mile if you add up all the travel time.

May 19, 2008 at 11:35 pm (foods library)

I have a wedding to plan, I procrastinate a lot. Here’s another form of it.

I figured I’d start the blog that I signed up for over a year ago with a food and photo essay of New York. This way it sort of looks like I’m interesting and do interesting and fun things instead of napping to recorded episodes of The People’s Court.

Michael and I went to visit the Orsborn in Brooklyn because he threatened to wear a bathrobe to our wedding if we didn’t come and see his new place. Mind you, he has lived in his new place for almost two years now. Doh. So we hopped on the Chinatown bus and went a traveling. We fucked up and got off the bus early, who knew that was even a possibility. We usually drive. We are dumb. It was raining. The train we wanted didn’t come. 3 hours and 45 minutes later we arrived at the new apartment and now Orsborn has to wear a suit. Ha.

We trudged back out into the rain to partake in pizza and two bars. I didn’t photograph the pizza but it was good. That is all about the pizza.

The next day after enjoying coffee and bagels we traveled into the city for a day of walking, window shopping, real shopping and massive amounts of food. Good thing I have a wedding dress purchased already, recently quit smoking and kind of hate the gym. My mother has already offered that my father can use the wheelbarrow to get me down the aisle. How sweet.

We walked around a bit and then had lunch at Candle Cafe and it was yummy. It was also insanely expensive. A good example of this is the guacamole appetizer that was shared by the table. Twelve is about seven dollars too many for a plate of guacamole if you ask me. Yup. Anyway we ate it up, but not before I took a picture so everyone would know what $12 worth of guacamole in Manhattan looks like.

I had a really hard time choosing an entree because dear god in heaven everything sounded amazing. I finally decided on the Cuban Seitan Sandwich. I had no idea that it would deep fried seitan. Soooo good. It came with some coleslaw and an ancho chile aioli. I would suggest eating this at least once in your lifetime.

Michael opted for one of the specials, the Mexican Style Wrap. He was also very happy and cleaned his plate.

Orsborn went with the Tofu Club. I thought it looked alright, he thought it tasted yummy. He was coveting my ancho chile aioli. In retrospect I don’t why I didn’t give him some since I didn’t even use half of mine. Oops.

So yeah totally go get yourself some grub at Candle Cafe. Just hope that you don’t get stuck next to a screaming baby like we did. My ovaries were shuddering at the sound. Seriously, it was the most high pitched “I fucking hate being at this restaurant because I’m a fucking baby” scream I’ve ever heard.

After lunch we walked and walked and walked some more. I stood in line at Whole Foods so I could pee. I stood in line for almost 1/2 an hour. Stupid. There are too many people in new york city. It’s official. I overheard some lady in the stall next to me with two young girls tell one of them that her pee was too yellow and she needed to drink more water. It made me feel weird.

The boys had a beer while I played I love standing in lines and stood in line for another 1/2 hour to try on clothes at the biggest Forever 21 (yeah I’m 30 and in denial, suck it) I’ve ever seen. I was lucky enough to stand behind five teenage girls. Jesus Christ. That’s all I’ll say.

We walked and walked and walked some more and I purchased some all black chuck taylor high tops, and a few bridal magazines. This makes me feel better about not being around this weekend or doing wedding related things. Yup. We worked up an appetite and headed back to Brooklyn to dine at Red Bamboo

I think it is possible that the old Johnny Brenda’s shitastic waitresses trained the waitress at Red Bamboo. She was definitely dumb and definitely bad at her job. That being said the food was pretty damn good. Oh and I saw Santino Rice of Project Runway fame there. Woot! Last time we went to New York we saw Scarlett Johansson. Santino is no Scarlett but I sure did love watching him on the tv.

Anyway, back to the food. We ordered drinks and appetizers but got our appetizers first because our waitress was the awesome. I got a white guava sangria. Tasty. The boys had boring beers. I don’t really drink beer so don’t expecting any beer reviews up in here.

Orsborn ordered the Jerk Spiced Chicken skewer things. I thought they’d be different than they were. He let me taste one and I thought it was hot but not flavorful, and it was a little rubbery. It was the only thing I didn’t like, besides the waitress. Suck it waitress!

I had the Sweet Potato and Broccoli Tempura, the two best things about Tempura, in my opinion. Mmm.

I’m new to food blogging so I forgot to take pictures, hence the bites and missing food. Doh.

Our entrees were also super yum. I had the Bourbon Chicken Dinner. Here it is in all its glory.

I have to say I liked it quite a bit but would have done a few things differently. Some more mushroom gravy would have been nice and some sort of seasoning on the steamed veggies was really needed but the bourbon “chicken” was perfect.

Michael opted for the Taco Trio. You get to choose between beans, veggie chicken or veggie steak. Stress the OR. You cannot have one of each. You cannot have two steak and one chicken. This did not make Michael very happy. It came with this insanely weird and yummy but too hot sauce. It definitely had some truffle oil in it. It definitely had a little too much heat and needed to be cut with something. I definitely could not stop eating it.

Orsborn went with the “chicken parmesan hero” It did not photograph very well. It was about as big as my forearm. He ate it all.

We went back to the “you can’t wear a bathrobe to the wedding” apartment and enjoyed our food comas.

The next day we continued our gluttony at one last restaurant, a tex mex place on 19th St and 5 Ave. I don’t know what it was called. It was good though. Michael and I had margaritas to celebrate our awesomeness. Orsborn enjoyed at pineapple soda.

The food was huge and tasted great. I had a combination platter so I could try a little of everything- one cheese enchilada, one veggie burrito and one guacamole taco.

Michael thought he was being healthy by ordering the Avocado Salad. He was wrong. It was kind of insane.

Orsborn got a big old veggie burrito. What makes these veggie burritos so spectacular is that they are not just filled with tons of green pepper and onion. They actually have tons of veggies in them- cauliflower and green beans galore. Sweet.

After lunch we popped into an overpriced vintage store that held this:
I would’ve bought it for my friend Bill but it was stupid expensive. Sorry Bill.

Today I barely ate any calories because it is time to get that no ciggy weight off so I can fit into my wedding dress. I’m cheap, not vain. Okay, I’m a little vain too. Whatevs. Suck it.



  1. kristin g said,

    I think we should go on a road trip to forever 21 in the exton mall. I haven’t been there in oh so long, and I used to go on a weekly basis when I worked in exton.

  2. Spano said,

    This blog requires that I check a blog to click a link to take me to a blog.

  3. Spano said,

    I forgot to tell you that I like the colors of this blog.

  4. jared said,

    aww shit, all serious and professional like.. what next? ads on the side?!

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