Less Eating, More Blogging.

December 31, 2008 at 12:25 am (Attempts at Adulthood, white wedding) (, , , , )

It’s been a while so this is going to be all over the place, like the other day when I tried to eject the beaters from my mixer and accidentally turned it on and then mashed potatoes were everywhere!

It’s almost the New Year, almost the biggest rabbit rabbit of the year.  I’ve heard that what you’re doing on New Year’s Eve determines how your year will be.  So we’ve decided to spend it in Brooklyn with some friends.  It will be different and I will miss my lady friends, and I guess a few of the boys too. But it would be nice if that means that this is the year to go places.  

So of course I’m going to make some resolutions.  I stuck to last years and haven’t had a cigarette in over 10 months.  Woot.  But now I’m sort of fat. And not like really fat but fat like I got married and I stopped going to the gym because I didn’t have a dress to psycholy work out to fit into and then Michael had a second surgery and we sat on the couch a lot and I ate a lot.  And so I have to force myself to go back to the gym and use my Wii Fit and eat like a normal person, not a snack monster.  So that’s goal one.  Goal two is to blog more. I know that sounds kind of stupid but it’s been hard to get myself  to do little things lately.  So hence, less eating, more blogging.  I’m taking it back.  Me and Oprah.  We’re going to fight the fat as the Wii boxing training tells me to do. 

Other goals include attempting to be an adult even more by starting a savings account, getting my money in order and not purchasing retarded items, to stop using the word retarded, to get organized, to work on the house renovations like a good girl and to get a new and amazing job, or just a new one, we’ll see.  Usually I succeed in one thing per year.  So if I have to choose I say fuck financial security.  I want to look hot in a bikini.  

Oh and since I’ve been such a slacker I never blogged about being featured on a blog. Doh! So go see it 🙂

Offbeat Bride

Ok, wow, that really took a lot out of me refiguring out that whole linking thing and I feel like I’m totally boring right now. So I’m going to go try to figure out how to fix my new year’s eve dress so that the boobular area isn’t too big since it’s not bra friendly. And with this whole weight gain thing my boobs are freaking huge so this is an anomaly to me. Or I’m going to tear my insanely messy house upside down looking for that stick on bra I bought for the wedding and didn’t use and some safety pins. I’ll keep you posted on any boob sticker shenanigans. Happy New Years Dickheads.

Ps. I found this blog and think it’s hilarious. You will too. If not, I don’t actually like you and I pretend to probably. Don’t cry.

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I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.

September 4, 2008 at 11:30 pm (Attempts at Adulthood) (, , , )


This blog is a break from the Nova Scotia journals as I am getting married in count them, nine days, ah, ah, ah.


In order to make our almost married lives more interesting Michael had to have surgery on his eyeball today. They had to remove the jelly part of his eye and then insert a gas bubble in order to heal his torn retina. It will take seven days of him laying on his left side for 55 minutes of every hour to heal. This means that he physically can not help prepare for our mostly DIY wedding. This means I can’t even yell at him when he doesn’t help. Awesome. No pressure.

We’ve been taking turns wallowing in self pity. We spent twelve hours at the eyeball hospital today. The anesthesiologist was a total dick to him and said, “I see you win the idiot of the week award”. Them’s fighting words, so he said, “I wasn’t fucking playing paintball”. Now is where I should go into why Michael had to make this declaration.

At his bachelor party on Saturday night, well sort of on the way to the bachelor party, which sort of was the bachelor party, Spano managed to accidentally shoot Mike’s eye out by shooting a paintball via a slingshot at a car that had a miniscule amount of window open. The paintball made it through the cracked window and directly into the side of Mike’s right eye. It did not burst, luckily, but it did do all sorts of damage to his eye, hence the surgery. So he spent his bachelor party in the ER. Doh. My poor baby. And he’ll spend the week before his wedding getting all gross and stinky and hairy on our couch. So yeah. Awesome.

Oh and I checked the forecast for our day, rain. Awesome.

I guess it’s a good time to mention that I broke a mirror on day four of our motorcycle trip. Stay tuned.

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June 14, 2008 at 1:48 am (Attempts at Adulthood, Holy Squirrel Batman!)

In an effort to get out of bed at a decent time in the morning Michael and I took a trip to the Raymour and Flannigan or however and I do not care at all to look it up for the proper spelling outlet store. We scored a new PILLOW TOP mattress and metal bed holder thinger for under $400. We then proceeded to clean our bedroom and oh my heavens it was a trainwreck and a half. Cat hair that could’ve formed another cat, cat puke on things that were “lost” under the bed. Ugh. The floor was mopped for the first time in 2 years. I sorted through every last piece of my clothing. I own over 80 dresses. I could wear a different dress for 80 days in a row. That’s kind of retarded. Also, we are fucking gross. but it is done and we now have a sweet, sweet bed. It really is fabulous to be comfortable when going to sleep. I think about it when I am working. It’s my current addiction. Well, it and retarded expensive iced tea from coffee shops with a shot of some sort of fruity syrup and a little simple syrup mixed in. Perfection. I’m going to go get in my fabulous bed now. Yup.

Here are some pictures of squirrels that frequent my yard. I like blogs with pictures. They’re just better that way.

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